Archive for August 2015

One of the fundamental messages is that we are not victims, but a co-creator of our life with our child hidden within.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: One of the fundamental messages is that we are not victims, but a co-creator of our life with our child hidden within.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The most important part of life, and the only part of life that we can truly control, is our perception. We may have influence over othe...

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The most important part of life, and the only part of life that we can truly control, is our perception. We may have influence over other parts of our life, but the only thing we have 100% control over is how we CHOOSE to perceive the events of our lives. One of the fundamental messages is that we are not victims, but a co-creator of our life with our child hidden within. It’s easy to play the victim, and a lot of people out there will try to convince you that it’s easier to blame other people for the circumstances of our lives. One of the reasons it’s easy to be a victim is because we have given away the response-ability of the outcome and circumstances of life to our child within. As a victim, we tell ourselves that it’s not our fault; it’s the government’s fault, or our significant other's fault, or our friend’s fault or our parents’ fault. If you really get creative you can imagine a whole range of people to blame for our life. But the truth is that we imagine we are the one making the choices in our life. We imagine that YOU have the free will and ability to CHOOSE to connect to Recovery, or not. You dont your responses have been hijacked into dissociations of food, romance,others greed, alcohol and drugs.  For a long time it was easy to blame people for the outcomes of our lives. When things didn’t go the way we WANTED them to we would just make it someone else’s fault.   To learn how to take my power back. Is to start to understand our childhoods we begin to see that the way we thrive is by making our Child withins INNER WORLD stronger than the outer world.  Our childhood history we tell ourself about our life will dictate the outcome of it. Contact is the most important power in our life.  The power of our INTENTION forms the outcome of our life.  The Stages will tell you to put loving-kindness first and to keep our lives grounded and in real time.  And of course, the stages teaches unconditional compassion and says we can experience this child withins intuitive thought when we have right truthful thoughts, take right action and keep our focus off of ourselves and keep it instead on our rediscovered intuitive thoughts. How could we possibly let ourself become a victim knowing all these things? If you really get that these lessons are REAL and TRUE and WORK, then, if you’re like me, you will feel called to turn your childhood experiences into a message. Adding understanding to other people’s lives and understanding will be added to our own.  Being of service and taking the wounds of our Child Within and turning them into lessons and sharing our experience with others will do more good to your understanding of yourself than almost anything else. To become human is to be messy, to screw up and to not get it right - that just comes with the territory. But it’s not right thought or action to assume the role of the childhood victim. It may seem safer and it may even seem true. But what’s true is that you can take the wounds, messes and tragedies of your life and use them for good. You can take your power back from people, groups and anything else that says you are powerless. You are POWERFUL, but you have to choose to be in your power and to step up. Keep your thoughts on Loving-Kindness. Take and assume response-ability for your life. Things will have happened in your past that you have no control over. But what you DO have control over is to learn how you need to respond to those childhood events. You will not have been able to control what happened in the past, but you will gain 100% control over what you CHOOSE to believe and, as a result, where you go from here.

One of the fundamental messages is that we are not victims, but a co-creator of our life with our child hidden within.

The most important part of life, and the only part of life that we can truly control, is our perception. We may have influence over othe...

Inside each and every one of us is an unrecognised living entity our child within.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Inside each and every one of us is an unrecognised living entity our child within.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Inside each and every one of us is an unrecognised living entity our child within. Our child within has the capacity to be either healthy,...

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Inside each and every one of us is an unrecognised living entity our child within. Our child within has the capacity to be either healthy, happy and adjusted or unhealthy, frightened and in chaos. Sometimes it will only take you a few moments to realise if our child within is hiding out, for it will manifest itself in our everyday adult life. Simply take a look at our programmed reactions, for they are the key. These reactions are often overlooked because you won't even realize you're doing it. It simply IS what it IS. Once you become aware of that, you'll understand what part of your child needs healing. Issues like lack of trust, low self-esteem, not feeling safe, anger and regret most likely stem from not healing an area of your childhood. our "adult" self is simply reacting the way it's always reacted and it had to start somewhere. A healthy child equals a healthy, well-adjusted adult. We all have issues that come up in life, but an emotionally healthy adult can deal with these issues in an emotionally healthy way. There is no blame. No pity party. No drama. No constant need for acknowledgement. Emotionally healthy adults know exactly who they are and do not need outside acknowledgement from others. To heal this wounded, child, you first need to locate them. This is not always easy because they are the masters of hide and seek. Many times, you'll breeze right past them, not even knowing they're there. Part of them wants to reach out and say, "I'm here! Please find me!" While another part says, "Be quiet! Don't let them find your hiding place! It's safe here!" So become aware. Stay alert and find that child. Once you find them, the task of getting them out of their hiding place works  with the STAGEOLOGY program. Slowly, but surely, a new trust will begin to develop and eventually, our child within will take your hand and walk out of the darkness. At first, you may do most of the talking, but eventually, with patience you will relearn the language of the child within , our child within will always reject the parental voice but once their gentle voice is re-learnt we will begin to open up and a new world of understanding will be released. After talking to this child, everything will begin to make sense. Think of this child within part of ourself as a lost, restless child, wandering the same area of time and space. Reliving the same trauma and chaos that they couldn't escape from in childhood. Because they are a part of you, their reactions to these unhealed events will have carried with you into your adulthood and will continue to dictate your emotional responses to the life you are currently attempting to live. Once you get them to come out of hiding and open up, you can build a new reality together. One based on trust and an understanding of "why." Healing the child within requires you to take the following steps: Find the child within. Tune in to their intuitive voice and our search will be an easy one. Acceptance of what you find and learn about our child within. The acknowledgement you gain from this our child within will most likely be painful. Accept it and learn from it. Talk to our child within. gently mine until you find your core issues. Have patience! It may take some time for them to open up. They've been programmed to remain hidden and silent. accept them as they come out of their hiding place. Hold their hand and prove to them you can be trusted. Remember, they are a part of you and what's really happening is you are not trusting yourself.<div style="font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23.2000007629395px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;">
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Inside each and every one of us is an unrecognised living entity our child within.

Inside each and every one of us is an unrecognised living entity our child within. Our child within has the capacity to be either healthy,...

We, our child within holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: We, our child within holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

At the beginning of the stages’s healing journey is our traditional contest stage. In this stage of our recovery argument, attempted accep...

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At the beginning of the stages’s healing journey is our traditional contest stage. In this stage of our recovery argument, attempted acceptance,  dissociated unhappiness, and seeking approval by parents, partners and friends of our crazy making behaviour becomes the norm. The parts of us that we feel are winning our contest stage stop our journey to recovery before it has even begun escaping into the grandiosity of spirituality, various religions and new personal romantic adventures. 
 
Here we deny our deepest traumas so intensely that we fool even ourselves into believing they never happened – and that we feel we are already recovered. We attend fellowship groups that further traumatise us by our constant recollections and the recollections of others of our trauma.Which become mere playbacks of our ancient traumas. It is for this reason that our dissociations/escapism within the fellowship groups mimics our recovery. 
 
 Here we still idealise our parents, which allows us full unconscious liberty to replicate the worst of our past into our present. Here we do not look beneath our surface, but join with dissociated others in their recollections of dysfunctional living. We remain happily still distant from the misery lurking in our recovery seeking constantly changing new solutions that dont work and joining with inappropriate others to compare our stories. 
 
Yet where parts of us lose the stages contest we move into the second traditional stage of our recovery that is pain and suffering. In this stage of our recovery depression, failure, misery, and inertia manifest into our lives bursting our recovery bubble. Here we wallow in seemingly purposeless pain. The silver lining around our cloud of parental idealisation has been stripped away, but the cloud remains intact. We still wish to be rescued by our parents and their replicated stand-ins, but we lack the requisite pain tolerance to be able to acknowledge the impossibility of this. Here we live in tortured ambivalence/recovery, and we spend out hours and days trying to get others to love us in the way our parents never could. Part of us wishes to devolve back into the seeming pleasure of grandiosity and our dissociative life, but the healthier part recalls how cruelly that route already failed us. 
 
Those parts of us with the capacity to face our maladaptive lives enter the third traditional stage that of grieving. This is the stage of purposeful struggling. Here we unearth the truth of our past, which allows the eruption of the puss filled boil of our buried traumas real and imagined. Here we witness the truth that lurks behind idealisation of the parents and we work to disassemble their lies. Our honest confidence leads us into the face of the hurricane, because our child within and its allies the students in the stages tell us that blue skies lie on the other side. Here we are humble, here we confront the truth of the worst of our parents, using whatever means will best help us integrate our truth, and through this our journey rages forward. 
 
With each problem we conquer we take a further step into the fourth traditional stage that of awakening enlightenment. This is the stage of emotional integration, balance, and inner peace. Here lie the deepest goals of recovery. All want to know truth, and the recovered person achieves it in all the reconnected parts of ourself that arrive in this our final stage. Here we grow able to distinguish light from shadow and water from mirage. Here we nurture our recovery of our primitive sides instead of expressing them self-destructively. Here we devote the best of ourselves to healing. Here we no longer traumatise others in the very patterns in which we were traumatised, but instead replicate the best of ourselves through contact with our child within – and generate beauty in the world around us. Here, having healed our wounds, we share freely of our gifts, because now our gifts are accessible to us and others. 
 
At The Stages we have a different philosophy for our life. We come to focus on the child within as a living entity.That why we call it the CHILD WITHIN not inner child which is a parental false selfs method of acknowledgement. We, so-called adults are not truly adults at all, and we have to examine this fact we have become a weird self constructed mess. We all get older. Anyone, with a little luck, can do that. But, speaking from a recovery viewpoint, this is not adulthood. True adulthood hinges on acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for loving and re-focusing on our own child within us. For most of us, this never happens because we have long forgotten the language of our childhood. Instead, our child within has been denied, neglected, disparaged, abandoned or rejected. We are told by society to "grow up," putting childish things aside. To become adults, we've been taught that our child within represents our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity and playfulness and this message must be stifled, quarantined or even killed. Our child within is angry, very very angry, Pissed off, venge-filled and often hurt, wounded cowering in the shadows locked in a basement of our childhood experience. Our child within comprises and potentiates these qualities of our true recovery 
 
We, our child within holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers. WE the "Grown-ups" are convinced we have successfully outgrown, jettisoned, and left this child within--and its emotional trauma--long behind. But this is far from our truth as we begin to find out as we work on The Ten Stages and start to uncover our real truths in our recovery. Do not expect your child within to be thankful that you have unlocked its prison after a lifetime of ignorance and abuse. Its like a mistreated dog it bites and it bites hard. That is why we have a studied course, not a self help group of dissociated children we are not a feel good society.We have to deal with the reality of long term personal abuse, yes we have learned the language of an abusive parental society that rules by its jails and institutions of dysfunction and at the stages we must replace that language of mis-information and abuse to be able to finally enter into a discourse with the child within and re-connect with our freed personality. 
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We, our child within holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers.

At the beginning of the stages’s healing journey is our traditional contest stage. In this stage of our recovery argument, attempted accep...

Child Critical

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Child Critical
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Child Critical is the art of unlearning necessary for contact with the CHILD WITHIN The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from...

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Child Critical is the art of unlearning necessary for contact with the CHILD WITHIN  
 
The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain will transform negative emotions. 
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In each of us, there is a young, suffering child. We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma. To protect and defend ourselves against future suffering, we often try to forget those painful times. Every time we’re in touch with the experience of suffering, we believe we can’t bear it, and we stuff our feelings and memories deep down in our unconscious mind. It may be that we haven’t dared to face this child for many decades. 
 
 
But just because we may have ignored the child doesn't mean she or he isn't there. The wounded child is always there, trying to get our attention. The child says, “I'm here. I'm here. You can’t avoid me. You can’t run away from me.” We want to end our suffering by sending the child to a deep place inside, and staying as far away as possible. But running away doesn't end our suffering; it only prolongs it. 
 
 
It is through having the courage and willingness to revisit the emotional dark night of the soul that was our childhood, that we can start to understand on a gut level why we have lived our lives as we have. 
 
It is when we start understanding the cause and effect relationship between what happened to the child that we were, and the effect it had on the adult we became, that we can Truly start to forgive ourselves. It is only when we start understanding on an emotional level, on a gut level, that we were powerless to do anything any differently than we did that we can Truly start to Love ourselves. 
 
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The hardest thing for any of us to do is to have compassion for ourselves. As children we felt responsible for the things that happened to us. We blamed ourselves for the things that were done to us and for the deprivations we suffered. There is nothing more powerful in this transformational process than being able to go back to that child who still exists within us and say, It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a little kid. 
 
"As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are giving power to the disease. We are feeding the monster that is devouring us. 
We need to take responsibility without taking the blame. We need to own and honour the feelings without being a victim of them. 
 
 
We need to rescue and nurture and Love our children within - and STOP them from controlling our lives. STOP them from driving the bus! Children are not supposed to drive, they are not supposed to be in control. 
 
 
And they are not supposed to be abused and abandoned. We have been doing it backwards. We abandoned and abused our children within. Locked them in a dark place within us. And at the same time let the children drive the bus - let the children's wounds dictate our lives.</div>
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Child Critical

Child Critical is the art of unlearning necessary for contact with the CHILD WITHIN The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from...

Let go of the need to be right.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Let go of the need to be right.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Let go of the need to be right. Let go of the need to control. Let go of the need to have a perfect plan before you start. Let go of playi...

Let go of the need to be right.

Let go of the need to be right. Let go of the need to control. Let go of the need to have a perfect plan before you start. Let go of playi...

Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

We know that the mind is shaped by our activities. Regularly practicing loving-kindness meditation can help activate and strengthen area...

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We know that the mind is shaped by our activities. Regularly practicing loving-kindness meditation can help activate and strengthen areas of the brain responsible for empathy and emotional intelligence and regrow our traumatised minds. Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused. Abuse of the spirit of the child can take many forms, from the overt forms of child abuse that conventional society is able to accept – such as overt sexual abuse, physical violence and the extremes of neglect – to whole realms of abuse that fall below society’s radar and are considered normal and healthy forms of parenting.  
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Children have massive needs, and where parents fail to meet these needs – whether society notices or cares or even bats an eye – the child ends up abused. Children are born into the world with a total right to have all their needs met. This is the responsibility of parents, and although parents have a whole palette of ways and techniques to deny their responsibility and pathologise defenders of the child, this does not change the basic facts.</div>
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 Children experience torture when their needs go unmet, and while we might sound like a fanatic writing this, it is only because we are taking the deep emotional side of the most disenfranchised minority in our society: the child. This is something that so few – and so few parents, those largely false advocates of society’s most innocent and squelched – do, or have any deep capacity to do.</div>
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/09/if-our-parents-didnt-love-and.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/363488022_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/09/if-our-parents-didnt-love-and.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">If our parents didn't love and understand each other</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/at-our-conception-we-are-perfect.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/341833007_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/at-our-conception-we-are-perfect.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">At our conception, we are perfect.</a></li>
</ul>
</div>

Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused.

We know that the mind is shaped by our activities. Regularly practicing loving-kindness meditation can help activate and strengthen area...

Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future?

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future?
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future? Do we ever think in, "If, then" type of thinking? Or "once th...

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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWFVPlP9iqbWiKmantF5VwaILfSdTYQQsadR6Rf2ThLtzf5-ukcfAgZhEMHKsDRptk7WZ2sdPRxhA1VZDpnRlBCZietC7KZoRj7nQqqU1Ks2aSRWHV4vAkoqulc1GY9czDYHLwrp-9y4RT/s1600/11165937_1075815515767901_1681599848_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWFVPlP9iqbWiKmantF5VwaILfSdTYQQsadR6Rf2ThLtzf5-ukcfAgZhEMHKsDRptk7WZ2sdPRxhA1VZDpnRlBCZietC7KZoRj7nQqqU1Ks2aSRWHV4vAkoqulc1GY9czDYHLwrp-9y4RT/s320/11165937_1075815515767901_1681599848_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
 Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future? Do we ever think in, "If, then" type of thinking? Or "once this happens, then We'll be happy?" If we're delaying our recovery and our joy for "one day" we are living on our event horizon, rather than living here and now. Event Horizon living will leave us feeling like we're always chasing a carrot that we never quite get. The good life is "out there" beyond the present moment, close enough for us to see it, but not close enough for it to be ours. If we've are living for our event horizon, we'll never really step into happiness, live our purpose or get the most out of our life.

Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future?

Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future? Do we ever think in, "If, then" type of thinking? Or "once th...

Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse. Growth is the name of the game. It’s what we all crave. It’s what we all want...

<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmFygWbjw3Xe8IflACGSIPT-oZI0Nn_dn5VSjnGukzqHR-XhX_DwRJUaopzYNaw8uJEdE07exxE3Jeb2usnButsObMgD0kIrak8JaWhLPHbIZ17UL9GKeEwmOkFIESQq9vipXdhw-N_Eui/s1600/within+child.jpeg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmFygWbjw3Xe8IflACGSIPT-oZI0Nn_dn5VSjnGukzqHR-XhX_DwRJUaopzYNaw8uJEdE07exxE3Jeb2usnButsObMgD0kIrak8JaWhLPHbIZ17UL9GKeEwmOkFIESQq9vipXdhw-N_Eui/s1600/within+child.jpeg" /></a> Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse. Growth is the name of the game. It’s what we all crave. It’s what we all want. Growth. To be more. To do more. To Love more. To have more. To feel more. To give more. To express more. And perhaps to weigh less. When we feel like we are making progress, we feel alive. When we feel stuck, it’s easy to feel dead inside. Nothing makes me more frustrated or sad than when we feel hopeless that we can’t grow in a certain area. we love the feeling of expansion, of creation and the freedom that comes. we believe in growth and we’ve set our whole life up to assist us in continuing to grow each and every day. There’s a pattern we’ve noticed when it comes to growth that holds so many people back. And that pattern is this: before you expand, you have to complete your evolution from your past.You have to make contact with your child within and begin the work of resolving your dissociations. So you are where you are today – that is AWESOME! But, no matter where you want to go, there’s an even bigger risk that you have to take if you want to grow in your recovery. If you’re just dreaming then you aren’t taking risks. People who make it happen get comfortable taking greater and greater risks of contacting our childhood guardian, the child within. Each new goal achieved leads to a lesser risk to take next time. So, what to do? Look at where you want to go. What goals do you want to achieve? And then look at the risks you are too scared to take. What are they? Where do they reside? If you knew that you must go through these risks to get where you wanted to go, what next steps would you take? 
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Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse.

Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse. Growth is the name of the game. It’s what we all crave. It’s what we all want...

Stageology & The Intulexia Paradime

One of the fundamental messages is that we are not victims, but a co-creator of our life with our child hidden within.

Inside each and every one of us is an unrecognised living entity our child within.

We, our child within holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers.

Child Critical

Let go of the need to be right.

Our definition of our child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of our child is disrespected the child is abused.

Do we put off our recovery life until sometime in the future?

Dissociative learned behaviour is a result of long-term abuse.

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